I am pretty sure someone just dumped their trash on me.

I am writing this post from my grave because I am pretty sure that I am dead. I am perma-hungover. I have complete dumpster mouth and I smell like vomit and trash. Do you remember in my last post when I said I was going to get super shitty? Ta da, the end result. What the fuck happened last night? Why is it when I am faded I turn into the most generous person in the United States of America? Seriously, why the fuck do I spend money on people I don't know? How did I lose my pack of cigarettes? Why did I steal the microphone from the karaoke set to say, "Someone here stole my cigarettes and I want them back."? Why didn't I get kicked out after that? How did I get back to my friends house? Why have I been starring at the wall for 20 minutes? Why am I not brushing my teeth? Seriously, fuck.