mexican madness

When put in an uncomfortable situation I have always been known for asking strange people questions that would offend someone even though I do it unintentionally. One of the first times Tito and I hung out we were asked to eat dinner at one of my many Mexican lovers house. The plan was to eat dinner at Chris's, get heavily sedated and then go bar hopping. Two of these things happened.

Chris made us an amazing veggie stir-fry followed by us getting completely blitzed. I wasn't living with Tito yet and it took us a good 3 hours before we could move off of the couch and find our way back to the house I was living in at the time. We composed ourselves after having a ridiculous conversation about foreign policies in China. Just. Fucking. Kidding. That conversation never took place.

We got back to my house and attempted to walk to a near by bar to have a night cap. We sat down in the coolest bar in Lansing, ordered our drinks and noticed my roommate at the time, no hair, walked in. No hair was in his lushfull drinking faze, and when I say that I mean alcoholic faze. He joined us and after a drink Tito and I were over the whole scene. We left no hair to go back to my house to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

After being at my house for about 15 minutes my other roommate, no hair's brother, walked in with a group of friends from work. Tito and I were still feeling sedated so we joined their conversation about a quest for winter boots. During our discussion of suede vs. fur in stumbled no hair with two new found friends, when I say two new found friends I mean two HUGE SCARY GHETTO new found friends. They made themselves comfortable in our living room and were persistent on knowing our names though they wouldn't tell us theirs. I asked to talk to no hair in the kitchen to ask him who the fuck these people were. Our conversation went like this..

Me: "Who the fuck are these people?"
No hair: "Oh, two guys I met in front of the liquor store."
Me: "Ummm, excuse me, is your brain leaking?!?! Why did you bring them here?!"
No hair: "They wanted to party."
Me: "Oh, well, that makes sense."

We went back into the living room, and feeling very uncomfortable I began to preach to one of the scary fury men about how it is so important to know what color to paint your babies room before they're born because it sets the mood on how the child grows.. like I am such the expert on child growth. I thought Maternal and Mattel were the same thing for the longest time.

The Wilder beast men kept telling Tito and I how they saw UFO's over 8th street and you could tell the questions I was asking was annoying them to a T. My roommate saw one of their hands starting to clinch so he asked them if they would be so kind to leave.

They weren't happy, but they ended up leaving. That was when I learned to shut my fucking mouth.