Karaoke piss

I have to say I am very happy that I have not recently peed my pants in public. This is something that I became notorious for during the summer when I was 19. This was when I had realized how much I enjoyed drinking, and how cool it made me feel. I have always been a strong believer in asking myself two questions before deciding on any life choice, those being..

1. How is this going to effect my addiction to television
2. How popular will this make me

The funny thing is I have had to acquire my own taste for alcohol. I grew up in a very dry house, where an idea of a wild evening for my folks was cracking open a can of O'dools, or splashing .5 oz. of Frangelico into Eggnog around the holidays. At the tender age of 10 I already knew that my family was a snoozefest and if I wanted to make any excitement for my life I would have to do it myself.

Anyway, I was 19, my life was really on track, I was working at Starbucks and Applebees, living in Downtown Flint, trying not to get shot on my way to my doorstep. Most nights after closing down the restaurant a few of us would go out for a couple after work toddies. We use to love to go to this real trashy hole in the wall karaoke bar to sing to our favorite licks. I don't know what it is about taking shots of Jose Cuervo and singing to the sweet beats of Pat Benatar, that cause me to bust out an electric slide across the dance floor followed by me pissing my pants.
This is something I feel I struggle with and am very happy that it only happens to me now when I jump on trampolines or cough too hard.

Sometimes I wish I could teleport myself back to the age of 19 again. I would get involved in healthy living, working out, and doing things that would benefit my future.

That's a fucking lie, if I could kick it back to 2005 I would definitely utilize my time by perfecting my keg stand.