Typical evening on Beaujardin

I live with two gay men who are in a relationship. I have known them since September of this year and work with one of them. We will call them Tito and Victor. Tito is the one I work with,he is sassy delicious and one of my all time favorite people. Victor is his boyfriend and I think he is pretty funky fresh too. They always offer me the best advice and have the best ideas like trying to talk me into not going to work so I can stay home and watch TV with them, or when they encourage me to dress up as wizards or pop culture Icons. I feel like the three of us really have a perfect connection.

A few nights ago after heavily drinking I came home to have a taco bell picnic in my bed and go to sleep. After inhaling my 7 layer burrito with potatoes, fresco style, grilled with guacamole I decided to call Tito to recap my evening. Tito works third shift on the weekends driving around our townhouse community to put a stop to any ruckus that may be going on. He was on the force stopping crime in our community when I called him telling him how fucked up I was. I remember trying to tell him stories about the evening, about meeting some guy who looks like the lead singer from maroon 5 and about how I think I can change the world, usual nonsense I mumble after 14 shots. I don't remember how much sense I was actually making but I am sure it was comparable to a newborn monkey baby.

Tito is always really good about listening to me and encouraging me to do the best things when I'm drunk. During our telephone conversation he was telling me how now was the perfect time to attempt to crawl to my ceiling, he said that this is the best way to rid any possible demons I could have living in me. What a great idea I thought! I have always wanted to rid any possible demons I have in me. I waited the 20 minutes for him to get home to try this out. When I did it was not as successful as I had hoped.

A few minutes of laying there after my failed attempt Tito decided to put a wet wifebeater over my face while I slept so that If I had a panic attack in my sleep I would survive. This is something he had learned after watching a Lifetime movie where a mother did this to her son when he was having an asthma attack.

I woke up the next morning with a semi damp tink-top on my face, nacho cheese in my hair, and new bruises on my body. Typical evening on Beaujardin.