Oh Mother.

Everything my sisters and I learned growing up, we learned from Danny Tanner and Mr. Belding. My mom was never very hands on with us, except when we needed to be changed, fed, or bathed but that all came to a stop when I turned 10. She always just let us do our own thing and trusted that we make the right decisions. Not growing up with a father made it really easy for my older sister to show her midriff when she got in to the Jr. high, she had the best 90's stomach, I was so jealous. This also made it really easy for me to get away with whatever I wanted.

So this shouldn't have been a surprise when I came home pregnant at 13.

Just kidding, at the age of 13 I probably couldn't have even paid an old perv from the up coming internet to have sex with me. I was really lucky to have lost all my baby fat and invest in contact lenses after graduating high school. Jr. High was the awful. I don't know one person to say that their best years were between the ages of 12-15.

Growing up my mom and I never had that great of a relationship, it wasn't until I moved out when she started inviting me to do things with her. This is all fine with me, who wants to go to the club with their mom at the age of 16 anyway? Her and I are very close now, we live far apart but we still keep in touch and she is always a great back-up drunk dial. She insists that I call her or my sisters before making a fool out of myself calling a guy I'm interested in.

If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't, my mom wasn't around to give me the advice I yearned for growing up but she is always available now to offer me some gems...

1. "Don't drink and drive, if you do, don't go to jail because I don't have the money to bail you out."
2. "Always use protection, I can't stand to think of being a grandmother."
3. "Do the right thing."

Happy early mothers day mom! Love you bitch.